art truth life

• Is that a family name? Jury is still out whether this was a 'that must be a family name because it's so odd/weird/strange/not a good name' or whether it legitimately sounds like a 'family name', but I lost count somewhere around the twentieth time I was asked this one with Harper. We already have names picked out for Peanut 2, so we'll just have to wait and see if the pattern continues!


• Did you plan for them to be this close? Well, to be frank, no. I mean, I get the birds and bees. There are things you can do to prevent it and things you can do to increase your chances. But, isn't that one of the more (most?) miraculous things about getting pregnant -- that you can't plan it? We don't view this little miracle any differently than our first. Thanks for asking, though.


• You look so small/big for XX weeks along! Well, thank you, but I assure you that no matter what you think, stranger, I feel as big as a house. Just part of the game.


• You'll feel better soon. Well, I sure hope so, but I can tell you that right now my all-day sickness is wearing on my patience a little (whole lot) these days. Next time I have to run to the restroom at work because the financial model I'm putting together has all of a sudden given me a blinding headache and I feel hot (and oh no, did I forget to eat or drink or sleep for the last 3 days?) as my body is revolting against me, I'll be sure to remember that you said it'll get better 'soon'. And, really once this part is over I'm getting cankles.

But, hey, none of us would do it (certainly not a second time) if every moment (and unsolicited comment) wasn't worth it in the end.

Looks like the days of 'just sitting there' for a minute are long gone...

• Talk -- my, oh my, is he a talker. Most talkative in his class say the ladies from school.


• Play with balloons -- (supervised, of course) um, cheap and never-ending entertainment?


• Try to crawl -- emphasis on the 'try'. He's got the leg part down...the arms not so much. If there were an award for most graceful face plant, though, my little munchkin would have it in his clammy little lint-filled hands in a heartbeat.


• Speaking of handling an award -- boy, does he every like to (insist on) turning the pages during story time. Let's just say more than a few books don't make a whole lot of sense anymore around the bottom right corner of the page. Grab, pull, turn (rip?), and repeat. It's a science, really.


• Jumping -- I can distinctly remember the dinner table conversations between Husband and I even before we found out we'd be adding a little peanut to the equation and the wholehearted declarations that we refused to 'junk' our house with 'plastic things'. All I can say for myself is: watch your step when you come over and I should probably buy stock in Fisher Price. The kid loves to jump. He uses a couple college textbooks for an extra boost -- hello, 5-10th percentile on the height chart, you aren't doing much for my bouncing abilities...International Business and Economics have him covered, though. And bounce, and bounce...


• He loves playing with toys, his tootsies, and anything else he can get his hands on -- and he's discovered his 'parts'...enough said...


• Smiling, hugging -- I mean, what kind of mother would I be without adding in here that he has to be the sweetest baby ever in existence, right?


• Sitting up all by himself -- where did my little bobble-head go so quickly?


• Sleeping through the night -- Hallelujah! And, I have to input my two cents about this one, too, since what kind of mother would I be without doling out my parenting opinion when it isn't asked for? They figure it out and do it when they want to. Short and simple. Forget the books, the training, and everything else that worked for your co-worker's aunt's brother's cousin's wife. What teenager do you know that doesn't know how to sleep through the night? Kidding. Sort of. Really, though, contrary to the (sometimes irrational and not-so-nice) thoughts running through you head at 3 or 4am, your child is not going to be 'that child' that never slept a good night until he was 2. He's young. And, telling you he needs something. And, at some point he'll stop needing those somethings, start sleeping well, and then start needing new somethings. Revel in the fact that we are all going through it. At some point, they figure it out.

Every day is an adventure. One we enjoy so much, we've hopped back on (never got off?) the baby train. Our new addition will officially be joining the clan in January. And, Husband and I officially must be physically separated one specific weekend for -- well, ever...

• No matter how much you liked, loved, tolerated your job, it will become infinitely harder to concentrate at work.


• It took two months for us to realize we had to clean behind our son's ears. Two. That wasn't just dry skin.


• It will become seemingly acceptable to talk about poop, pee, and gas in any forum. The people in the elevator or at the dinner table will not equally revel in the fact that your baby has now gone from pooping several times a day to one, or sometimes none. Even if they have kids of their own.


• Fact: You will adjust to operating on less sleep. Reality: It won't make you miss it any less.


• The idea of conception will now become a scientific concept. This does not mean that people at work want to know that you have a true "Derby baby." But, you will continue to tell them anyway.


• The baby blues are real. You are normal if you cry at the exact same time every night somewhere around a couple days to a couple weeks after you give birth. Your husband will think to himself, "I really thought as soon as the kid popped out, the crazy would go away." He was half right.


• Resist the urge to compare your child to anyone else's, particularly when it comes to milestones. There's a reason the pediatrician gives you a range. Besides, they are probably fibbing anyway.


• Speaking of milestones (and fibbing): "sleeping through the night" (depending on what you read) is characterized as sleeping somewhere between 5 and 7 hours at a time. Those parents that brag about it early on may very well:

a) be so unconscious they don't actually realize the kid has woken up and gone back to sleep on his/her own.

b) have a good sleeper -- for that night. When they don't post it for the whole world to read again the next night, the kid went back to being a baby and waking up like they are supposed to.

c) still be awake at 3 or 4 am for the day. No one specified when the 5 hours started.

• I'm not ignoring you. I got between zero and five hours of sleep last night and am actually still asleep. With my eyes open. At work.


• SIDS is a scary possibility. In other cultures, parents sleep in bed with their babies from day 1. Don't be ashamed to tell people you took a nap or slept with your kid. Just be careful.


• Breastfeeding felt completely natural. Using a machine with a motor to simulate breastfeeding -- one that makes the oddest noises? Notsomuch.


• The "baby weight" may come off more easily than you expected. The last 5 to 10 pounds from the extra pieces of cake or servings of biscuits and gravy will be a little harder to shed. Kudos to you if it was easy. If it was more, remember the fibbing? The last 5 the chick at work is talking about is probably actually more like 8 or 10. Guilty. Hey, I'm not making weight for wrestling. I can tell myself it's water weight if I want to.


• You'll want another one. And, you'll forget anything bad that you may have experienced during pregnancy. Raging back pain? Feet and calves swollen to double (okay, closer to triple) their original size? Like it never even happened.


• Some children's books seriously make no sense at all. None.


• Children's clothing is grossly overpriced and the stuff that isn't really is cheap. And will pill. And fade. And shrink. I'm different sizes in different brands, but seriously Carter's? My son is in the 5th-10th percentile for height and weight, respectively. No, he shouldn't be wearing 6 or 9 month clothing at 2 or 3 months. But, it's cute, so I'll buy it anyway. Darn you, Carter's.


• If you are as happy as we are, there's a reason daycare is like another mortgage payment. Those ladies really do love your child as much as you do. They just get to give him back at the end of the day. Sorry he peed in your hair yesterday, Willy. Truly sorry.

1. The sounds: How on Earth is it possible that such (g)astronomical sounds can come from such a teensy person? And how on Earth is it possible that every single person I know with children has failed to mention this little (only not little at all) piece of information. Not sure what I'm talking about just yet? Just wait!
2. The sleep deprivation: Ok, no new parent expects to get much sleep. I wasn't naive to this fact, but I was naive to the fact that not only would it be so strange to adjust to sleeping in 1-2 hour increments (3 on a really really lucky night when Husband is being particularly super sweet and snuggling little guy the whole time just so Mama can sleep -- it's only happened once...), but that it would be so difficult to fall asleep when it's the only thing that I want to do and my sweet son is alas sleeping soundly (soundly as in making so many sounds I can hardly sleep and then start to think about how soon it is until I must wake again and then Oh, Oh, it's time and I yet again forgot/was unable/tried (sort of) to actually sleep when he was sleeping). These kids are no joke! And neither is breastfeeding and whew I'm glad I got that out! And no one explains that no matter how sleep deprived you are, as soon as that sweet baby hits your arm hungry and knowing you are the only one that can satisfy him, you immediately forget how sleep deprived you are. It's just you and him -- and whatever junk is on television or your iPhone at 1, 3, 5, and 7am.
3. Holy thirstiness: I seem to remember something about this during our ALL day hospital class (which I promptly forgot as soon as the chocolate covered cherry pie that I rewarded myself with after said all day class hit my mouth) and I know that the BrestFriend breastfeeding pillow comes with a pocket for bottled water for a reason, but golly gee, who could have imagined that breastfeeding would leave your body thinking you had just run a marathon 8-12 times over each (and every) day! Parched is an understatement.
4. Boys pee (a lot) (and out of their diapers) (a lot): I'm sure girls pee just as much. At least that would tend to be logically appropriate. However, little girls, as we all know, don't have the "gear" that little boys do. Said gear, which to my surprise has now created a lovely "treatment" above/below/around the wall above/below/around the changing station. And the curtains, but we'll blame that on Husband. He was being paricularly brave while changing Harper (read: haha look at this, he's naked and cute and naked and um, honey he's peeing -- all over you -- and the curtains). Which brings me to my next point...
5. Point it down: So, we all reasonably expect that if we diaper correctly it will catch all of what it is supposed to. Not so. Not so. That is if you have a boy. During that all day hospital class, one of the things I actually did take away with me was the advice to always point it down. The nurse reminisced about her son consistently wetting through nearly every outfit she placed him in as he was actually peeing out of his diaper. Got it. Point it down. Not so fast. Remember #2? Well, let's just say my Husband and I's brains don't quite fire like they used to. And as logical and easy as it should be to remember such a simple idea is well, not logical or easy when you can no longer remember what day it is. Let's just say 3.5 weeks in, it's still absoulutely hilarious and simultaneously the most unfunny thing in the world when our little man wets an entire outfit because we can't manage to remember to "point it down". Maybe I'll post a sign above the changing station -- but laminate it first, because we all know what's going to happen next time we change the little guy.

1. That first cry
2. The gorgeous, silky smooth, hair (once washed)
3. The handsome navy blue eyes
4. The baby smell
5. That first hour, just Husband, Harper, and I
6. The squeaks, oh the squeaks
7. The sleepy, dreamy, twitchy grins
8. The finger grasp
9. The way Husband looks at him
10. The way Husband looks at me

Harper, we are still in awe of the joy you have brought us and cannot wait to see what the future holds!